I have not had a lot of time do come on here and write about my feelings, or problems. But today, I think my boyfriend of almost two years has stopped loving me. After this time together a lot has happened and I do not know if we can bounce back anymore. He's sitting on the couch across from me, won't even look at me and telling me he's had enough. Recently I lost my full time job, and since I have been so broke, I was unable to pay my rent this month so he assisted with it, we've always helped each other out with things when we've needed it, he got a good job a while ago too, and has had the extra money, but after a stressful conversation about money that lead to him throwing an empty bottle at me, and ruining a christmas decoration, I think he's finally had enough of me, although I love this boy with all my heart, I am starting to believe we have conflicting personalities, he always says I'm a child and I don't know how to handle stressful situations, and that I have the mind of someone in high school, I have started to believe it.
I've done nothing but try and make this work, and destroy it at the same time. I do have an issue with communication and it's finally got to us.
I remember the first time we hung out, May 9th 2010, I came to St.Catharines to meet him, he came up to me at the bus station, gave me a hug and a kiss on the head. I can honestly say I think it was love at first sight, we had our first kill at Niagara Falls, he leaned over me, and it was perfect. Almost two years later he still gives me butterflies, still makes me laugh, and makes me strive to try and be a better person everyday. As he looks at my typing he says "don't bother writing me an email" I think that no matter what I say anymore, I think it's over. I've spilled my heart out to him so many times, I think he's tired of hearing the same things over and over again, I don't know what I'll be like if I end up moving out, and trying to move on from the most amazing thing that's ever happened to me, I don't think I'll be able to accept it at first, but I hope if we do break up he remembers the good times, not the bad times, and he knows how much I loved him, and how much I really tried to change and make it work.
I'll always love you Michael,
Forever and ever, I want nothing more than for you to find someone in the future that will be everything I couldn't be for you, I've learned so much, and I know what not to do in the future, and I hope one day I can find my soul mate, I thought it was you, and I'll always inside believe it maybe was you, never forget me babe,
it was us against the world.
