The past year I've experienced a lot in my life. I moved my whole life four hours away, left everything behind including my family, boyfriend of the time, and my bestfriends. It was probably the hardest thing I ever did. I landed myself at 85 lbs from the lack of eating and stress that overcame me. Moving to Ottawa for school was probably the most difficult thing I have ever done, it changed my whole world. And once I got there I felt like everything I had ever known completely disapeared. I was so angry with myself and the decisions I had made. I am the type of person who feels like they need other people's input in order to be okay with the decisions I should be making by myself. I didn't chose this school, everyone else chose it for me. At the beginning I thought it was the worst decision I had ever made but in the end it's the best one I could have ever made. Eventually I needed to get out of the nest and move on with my life and post secondary education was the best excuse I had. I needed a change, I just didn't know it yet. I was trapped in a abusive relationship that I couldn't let go of, and moving away slowly ended it, being too far away to make things work was the best thing that we could have said to eachother. I never thought myself and Ottawa would ever get along, at first I didn't make very many friends, and I never went out anywhere. I isolated myself in my room everyday and rarely went to class. This continued for a really long time, until I realized that I was really unhappy with my life, I needed to change. I started going out, I started hanging out with more people, I met some really amazing people that I could never live with. I got close with my roommates, and my life was good. I can say I have fallen in love with Ottawa, it was the best thing for my life. I can't wait to go back.
A very good friend of mine told me this;
"You really can't control anything, something is going to happen , the best we can hope for in life is to try and steer it in a good direction" - m.h.
I thought I could control everything in life and found out I have no control over anything, I am very content with my life right now, I have amazing friends, an amazing boy and right now, that's all that matters to me. In September, I'll have to deal with a whole new school year, I'll try harder, learn more and continue to bring happiness into my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment